After having everything, being booked on a vacation in a week... I dont think I am happy.
I don't know where we stand. It's sad, but everything we should not be doing or going through has happened! Like woah is this how it was supposed to end? Or like this is the rubber band effect! I don't know! I just don't! And guess what it sucks... I can cry all I want but seriously would I be happy putting up with nonsense, being the reason you get angry, am I a detonator? And why am I the reason to your anger always? The said we'd made it so far... and I've always been one with you... and now when I am a point in my life where you mean so much to me... you cut me off! Yeah I get it your going through some very difficult times... But you've always had me... your parents and your friends. I'm here far from home... and yes keeping myself busy. But you never asked me how I was doing? I am OK.. living from the outside as a very happy person... with everything great ... lots of money! But you know what that money is useless.. it cant buy you happiness... its not your family! I wish... I really do wish you saw the cracks and tried to help me for once. I know its all about the more important things.. but isn't this important? What about me being happy?
I'm still crying... crying for what I actually don't know.
Maybe because I am alone... and the void will take time to fill...
Maybe because I did not get what I wanted today...
Maybe its time to be with my mommy...
I just miss you mom
Your one person I can tell everything too.. good/bad.. for what it is... I love you
Cinar I dont know how you find out if something is off with me. I dont know but thank you for always just being there for me. I did not disturb you today because its not fair that everytime I am sad or in trouble you leave everything and give me your attention. I love you my friend <3
Me - I got called detached.. I'm not. I think you wont understand the pain sistu... you wont understand the feeling of not belonging... and not being at home truely. In someways it has become home... but in someways home is always where family is. I miss you all. I miss home today! Lots.
Its different when you wake up one day and the person your life revolved around isn't there . Thats when you realise how much your life revolved around this one person. Was it worth it? To love is one thing.. to be dependent is one? I feel like I ignored so many other things before. Oh well time to learn... once again!
Khallas!
V
I don't know where we stand. It's sad, but everything we should not be doing or going through has happened! Like woah is this how it was supposed to end? Or like this is the rubber band effect! I don't know! I just don't! And guess what it sucks... I can cry all I want but seriously would I be happy putting up with nonsense, being the reason you get angry, am I a detonator? And why am I the reason to your anger always? The said we'd made it so far... and I've always been one with you... and now when I am a point in my life where you mean so much to me... you cut me off! Yeah I get it your going through some very difficult times... But you've always had me... your parents and your friends. I'm here far from home... and yes keeping myself busy. But you never asked me how I was doing? I am OK.. living from the outside as a very happy person... with everything great ... lots of money! But you know what that money is useless.. it cant buy you happiness... its not your family! I wish... I really do wish you saw the cracks and tried to help me for once. I know its all about the more important things.. but isn't this important? What about me being happy?
I'm still crying... crying for what I actually don't know.
Maybe because I am alone... and the void will take time to fill...
Maybe because I did not get what I wanted today...
Maybe its time to be with my mommy...
I just miss you mom
Your one person I can tell everything too.. good/bad.. for what it is... I love you
Cinar I dont know how you find out if something is off with me. I dont know but thank you for always just being there for me. I did not disturb you today because its not fair that everytime I am sad or in trouble you leave everything and give me your attention. I love you my friend <3
Me - I got called detached.. I'm not. I think you wont understand the pain sistu... you wont understand the feeling of not belonging... and not being at home truely. In someways it has become home... but in someways home is always where family is. I miss you all. I miss home today! Lots.
Its different when you wake up one day and the person your life revolved around isn't there . Thats when you realise how much your life revolved around this one person. Was it worth it? To love is one thing.. to be dependent is one? I feel like I ignored so many other things before. Oh well time to learn... once again!
Khallas!
V
